First of all, let me say that I do not really like chocolate. I know, right? Everyone I know talks about chocolate with that swoony-dreamy look but I just do not get it.   
I do not hate it but if someone gave me a bowl of M and Ms, I would more likely sort them by color and make mosaics with them than eat the entire bowl.

Second of all, let me say that I do not really like soda. Maybe you call it pop, sodapop, or coke. I was sick so often as a child that soda holds no romance for me. Instead, it reminds me of why I was given soda in the first place. That is not to say that a frosty glass of a cola drink on a hot day would go undrunk, but usually my beverage of choice is filtered water. I used to live in Florida and our water tasted like pool water right from the tap so filtered is my favorite water flavor.
So when I tried THIS diet soda, my expectations were not high.

But I love it. It is the best. It is my new favorite drink. It is delicious. Get some. I have tried the Vanilla--very good--and the Black Cherry is in the refrigerator right now. I am going to be looking for the Black Raspberry next time I go to the store. But I doubt any flavor will be as appealing to me as fake chocolate. After all, when I go to McDonald's, my favorite milkshake is fake strawberry and I have never really enjoyed eating REAL strawberries. I know. I am an enigma.

ALSO, it is TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY, so here's a joke fer ye.
     So there's this Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. 
     One day, it gets to be too much, so the pirate grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. The pirate gets mad and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a cabinet. 
     This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the pirate finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush. At that point, the pirate is so mad that he throws the swearing bird into the freezer. 
      For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the pirate just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. 
     After a couple of minutes of silence, the pirate is so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?" 

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